courage to change habits (part 1)

"Do not let wrong and discordant things of the world worry you. It is true that there are many bad things in existence. But if a thing is bad, why make it a part of yourself? You are your own greatest enemy; and you are your own greatest friend. It is in your power to choose that which you want to make a part of yourself. This applies to thoughts and feelings and desires, as well as deeds." - Paramahansa Yogananda, East-West Magazine,July-August, 1930, Vol (4-5)

I've found a lot of great wisdom from that man.
I finished highschool, I worked, and I left for Europe. I found that with surrender, I was given the world. I did not struggle against the current, but let it take me to open arms, loving people, beautiful places. It has been lonely at times, but I iron my will and stand strong against the temptating thought that "maybe there is something back home that is not here, maybe it would be easier if I went somewhere else..."
but no. I know that wherever I am I will have to face myself in the morning each night, in my dreams, in my relationships and interaction with others. I can go to the other side of the world, but I cannot hide from myself.

However, I stay here in Europe, and thrive on the fact I have no home, have no job, have no plans... and therefore, I am forced to be open to change and growth. there is no home I can hide in, no job or structure I can run to; I'm on my feet running for my life, or should I say, keeping pace with life, running TOWARDS my future.

It is hard to face ones self. but a person must learn to be kind and firm with themself. a person simply cannot grow from negative self-talk.
so stop fighting yourself and start being kind, patient, understanding.

look at your habits as things that are not YOU but a piece of your experience here; a lesson to be learned and a challenge to grow from. if it is a deep habit, it has psychological ties, and goes deeper than just the action.
but that does not mean you need to go to a psychiatrist; if you simply take time to listen to what is really going on, really introspect, even write your thoughts and feelings down, you will learn a lot.
what do psychiatrists do anyway? they listen to you talk; they get paid for you to talk.
so talk. even better, write it down and then later look at what you've written.

and courage is in the doing. "fear exists only in the future." if you have fear, you are not living in the present moment.

and remember, "you are bigger than any obstacle"